Using The New Year To View Life After Divorce Differently

Our Happy Divorce Saturday, January 11, 2020

New Year’s resolutions often center around building success, happiness and new habits. Use this hopeful time of year to change your attitude about life after divorce and set yourself – and your kids – up for success in the new year.

Embracing Life After Divorce

During this season of reinvention, look for ways to adjust your attitude about divorce so that you can embrace all the opportunities in front of you. There are a lot of positive changes taking place in your life, if you know where to look.

• You have more time for yourself. Co-parenting and dividing custody with your kids means you’ll have a lot of downtime as well when your kids are with your ex. Use this time to rediscover who you are or find something new you love to do in the new year. 
• You can be more present for your kids. Since you do have more alone time in your schedule now, you can run errands and handle things at home when your kids are gone. This way, when your kids are around, you can focus on them instead of your to-do list.
• You can create some financial resolutions. During the divorce process, you’ll be looking very closely at your finances, from budgets and spending to retirement and investments. Now that you’re flying solo, you have total control over your finances. It’s a great time to make some financial resolutions and goals for the new year.  
• You can set new career goals. You’re in charge now. You can make career changes that can ultimately help you build a life you love. Instead of keeping you from your dreams, your divorce can be the stepping stone to pursuing your passions. 
• You’ll have more time for friends. With a little extra kid-free time in your calendar now, you can make more time for your friends. Make a resolution to begin spending time with old friends a few times a month. Set up a coffee date with a close friend once a week, especially when you’re adjusting to life after divorce. These activities are an important part of building a support system that will help you stay positive as you build a new life.

Co-Parenting Resolutions

• Keep the kids first. This attitude is what brought you together first as co-parents. Use the new year as an opportunity to check in with yourself and make sure your kids are still the reason behind every decision you make. 
• Find new ways to work together. Over time, your co-parenting relationship with your ex will get easier and easier. Eventually, you will be able to work closely together to continue raising your kids, even without a romantic relationship. Identify a few ways you could work better together and work on those in the new year. 
• See each other in a new light. After some time co-parenting, it will become easier to appreciate each other again. Remember that your ex also has your kids’ best interests at heart.

The Great Things About Life After Divorce

Once you begin to forgive your ex and embrace life after divorce, you’ll start to realize some of the surprising things about being divorced. Most importantly, you have the opportunity to re-invent yourself. 

Sharing custody with your ex means you’ll also have a little more time to yourself. This time is a chance for you to reconnect with yourself, embrace your passions and release anything that is no longer serving you. As you become a better version of yourself, you’ll also become a better parent.

As you begin to build your life after divorce, remember that it’s the start of a new version of your life and your family. Without the stress of a difficult marriage, you are free to be the best version of yourself. Embrace this change as the growth opportunity it is and get ready to shine.

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