National Divorce Day: Changing the Perspective

Once the holidays wrap, the first days back at work can be busy – especially for family law attorneys. This date, typically around January 8, has the distinction of being known as National Divorce Day. This is the day that lawyers see the highest spike in divorce filings. Presumably, the holidays have passed, the reality is back, and couples who feel they’d be better off as co-parents than spouses have decided to take the next step.

Changing the Tone of National Divorce Day

Divorce is hard, there’s no way around it. However, with time, it’s possible to shift your focus away from celebrating the end of the marriage to looking forward to all the positive things this can mean for your family. Sometimes, the best way for a couple to become better parents is to not actually be in a relationship with each other. 

Ending a marriage is difficult, but there are a lot of times when it’s the best choice for the family overall. When divorce is the right choice, it frees you and your partner up to focus more on what really matters – being amazing co-parents for your kids. Here are some little known benefits of a divorce

  • Divorce makes you a better parent. When you and your ex commit to co-parenting, your mindset as a parent starts to shift. Instead of juggling the duties of both marriage and parenthood, you’re able to shift all your attention to your kids. This helps minimize the effects of divorce on your children. 
  • Divorce brings you closer to your ex. It may surprise you, but a divorce can actually bring you and your ex-spouse closer. When you are able to set aside the conflict and negativity that invaded your marriage and focus on working together as co-parents, your relationship changes. Anger and resentment tend to amplify any and every problem and conflict in a marriage. When you’re able to get out of this cycle, you can begin to appreciate the positive qualities in each other. 
  • Divorce improves your family. When you approach divorce as a positive change for your family, it’s much easier to put the kids first. This evolving co-parenting attitude, where every decision you make is focused on what’s best for the kids, can improve the overall atmosphere in your home.  
  • Divorce makes it easier to forgive.  Forgiving your ex is an important step toward having a happy divorce. However, sometimes when you’re in the thick of it, it’s hard to forgive. Once your divorce is final and all the important decisions have been made, there’s really nothing left to argue about. Now, it’s easier to focus on what’s best for the kids because you’re no longer fighting about the specifics of the divorce. When all the important decisions have been made and are now part of your legal divorce agreement, it can be easier to forgive your ex because you are no longer arguing.
  • Divorce can bring new people into your life. Whether it’s through your support system, through online communities and Facebook pages, through new dating relationships or through step-children, divorce greatly expands your social circles. You’ll meet many new people you may have never met if you were still married to your ex-spouse. Whether these new relationships are friendly or romantic, you’ll find yourself surrounded by new, amazing people. 
  • Divorce can improve your next marriage. It sounds strange, but going through a divorce can actually give you a much stronger sense of what you’re looking for in your next partner. This understanding can help you avoid common post-divorce dating mistakes
  • Divorce has financial benefits. Litigated divorces do have the potential to quickly become costly. If you and your ex can agree from the beginning to collaborate on your divorce, put your kids’ best interests first, and commit to quickly wrapping up your legal decisions, you’ll begin to see many financial benefits of being divorced
  • Divorce ultimately makes you happier. When you approach divorce as a happy decision and focus on the positive changes divorce brings into your life, you’ll be happier. If your marriage is ending, there’s likely a good reason for it. Even if the divorce wasn’t your choice, it allows you the opportunity to build a happier life with someone who is equally committed to you. 

Divorce is tough. There was a lot of hard work and effort that went into your marriage and ending it can be a difficult decision, even when it’s the right decision. It’s normal to have hurt feelings, sadness, and resentment. 

Your relationship with your ex doesn’t have to end negatively. Instead, this divorce could be the very thing your family needs to grow closer together. Instead of focusing on the end of the marriage, use divorce as the beginning of your new relationship with your ex as co-parents. Although the process takes time, let this be the door to forgiveness and building a new life that’s better for you and your kids.

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